Israeli elections 2015: A hater’s guide.

Are you still not sure who to vote for? Really? if you haven’t at least an idea of who you might vote for  by now then you are either  lazy or you haven’t had access to the internet for the last three months; otherwise you should have a relatively good idea who to vote for. If you already have an informed opinion, good job, and don’t waste your time on the rest of this.

Still undecided? Good news! This is a democracy and the sad fact is that if you went to the ballot box and played Eenie Meenie Minie Mo with the candidates your vote would count just as much as someone who has done the research. Depressing right? A democracy is a place where everyone is entitled to an opinion even if, frankly, they don’t deserve one. It’s why we have people who can be adamant about particular parties or candidates but couldn’t name a single one of their policies accomplishments or anything significant about them (For other examples speak to anyone wearing a “Ready for Hillary 2016” button ). Generally speaking the Israeli public, in regards to elections, are kind of like the Republican party when it comes to the female reproductive system: lots of opinions on what should be done with very little understanding of how the whole thing actually works.

The Israeli Electoral System: 

Elections are required to be held once every four years…which would be nice except no Israeli government never actually makes it that far.

 The Israeli system is a parliamentary one with proportional voting. What does that mean? Two things: First; two aforementioned dumb people who didn’t pay any attention to election news until the day before can come together from separate corners of the country to elect someone to office that may or may not represent their interest. Second; it means that we don’t actually elect people, we elect parties. A party must also pass a certain threshold of voting percentage in order to actually receive seats; this is in order to prevent every single loony tune from getting to sit in on a legislative body made up already of too many people who have no idea what they are talking about. In short, If you can’t convince at least 3% of voters that you have good ideas then you are crazy by Middle East standards. After the votes are tallied the 120 seats of Knesset are divided up among  all the parties that passed the electoral threshold.

 Theoretically speaking a party could get a majority of seats in order to have control over the knesset but in practice that would require way too many Jews to agree with one another so instead you are stuck with a coalition government where you have to force Jews who don’t agree to get things done so much easier right? It is a similar process to trying to decide on what tune to sing to in Synagogue and the resulting noise is an accurate representation of the Knessets legislative success.

The Political Parties:

While there are many many many parties in Israeli politics there are the mainstream ones that most people will rely on to actually run things. The political parties of Israel can be summed up into four main political streams: The Left Wing, the Right Wing, The “Have you put on Tefillin today?” and the “Death to Israel” parties.

 The Right wing parties: So what if you groceries cost a fortune? The Iranians/Hamas/Hezbollah are going to kill us all.

 The Likud Party:

The home of Bibi, Suck-it-Obama, Netanyahu. The Likud is the main right wing party that has controlled the Knesset for the last two governments; To give you an idea about their attitude towards the elections they haven’t released any sort of campaign platform. Additionally their campaign slogan is “It’s either us or the left wing”. It would be like if Mitt Romney had made his campaign slogan “I know you don’t  like me, but i’m counting on you being less comfortable with the other guy” accompanied with posters all over Israel with him simply  smirking like he just upper decked Livni’s office bathroom.

 Bayit Hayehudi: The Jewish Home party. 

The Jewish home Party, with Naftali Bennett at its helm, has made a name for themselves as the only other party with a guy who speaks English nearly as well as Netanyahu. His campaign slogan has been “we are no longer apologizing” (which I am convinced they stole from Egged’s customer service motto) and as a negotiation strategy, has a bit to be desired. They are more right wing than Likud, sometimes being accused of being religious homophobes (are there even any other kind?) which is only partially true depending on who you ask. Benett has been campaigning on a platform of having successfully lowered the cost of living in Israel by 5% which gives you an idea of the situation we’re in. Benett has no aspirations for prime minister this time around and would be happy to sit in a right wing coalition and maintain a status quo of stating obvious facts on the BBC and CNN.

 Kulanu: The everyone party. 

The Kulanu party is a run by a former member of the Likud party Moshe Kahlon. They are expected to gain around 9 seats give or take and Kahlon has been campaigning to be given the position of Finance minister in any coalition. Kahlon’s campaign slogan is “Hey remember how your phone bill used to be stupid expensive and now it’s not? That was me”.  The Kulanu party hasn’t made many enemies and is not really disliked by too many people, mostly because they haven’t been around long enough. Give it time.

The Left Wing parties: What’s the point of living in peace and security if everything is so god damn expensive?

The Zionist Camp:

The Zionist camp is a joint venture of Tzipi Livni’s Hatnua party and Herzog’s Labor party in an effort to beat Netanyahu’s Likud. The zionist camps has developed as the major Left wing faction of the Knesset and the only serious challenge standing between Netanyahu and another term. The main leader, Herzog could be compared to John Kerry in the 2004 election against George Bush if for no other reason that he has the personality of a cardboard box. In an apt response to the Likud party, they’ve made their campaign slogan: “It’s us, or him”  banking on the fact that the average Israeli can only identify one member of the Likud party by name: Bibi Netanyahu.

The two agreed, that, in the event that they win the elections and form the coalition they will  split the premiership. Herzog would take the first two years and Livni would take the second two years of the term (a suckers deal since no government of recent memory has made it very far into year three of its term.

 Yesh Atid (There is a future)

The Yesh Atid party is the another left wing party and is run by former tv news anchor Yair Lapid. Their biggest achievement of their last election cycle, which was the parties first, was winning enough seats to become the second largest party in Knesset with 19, when they were predicted to receive 12. They are banking on similar luck this year (which is always a sound political strategy).  He sat as finance minister in the last government and his campaign is run on a platform of “we promise not to fuck up the housing market with silly promises as badly as we did last time”

Meretz… Honestly who cares what it means? 

Meretz is the party that loudly proclaims that it is the REAL left wing and then quietly begs to not be excluded from the next government. Meretz has been playing jump rope with the electoral threshold and their future is in doubt. It’s one of those parties that if you don’t know what they stand for then you really have no business voting for them. Let me put it this way: Just about the only other party that considers them “Too Zionist” is the United Arab list.

The “have you put on Tefillin today?” parties: The Rebbe is watching, and he knows you look into the women’s section during prayers.

I’m not going to list these parties by name nor am I going to talk about their political stances beyond describing some, but not all, as the Israeli Taliban but with less guns. Suffice to say if you don’t know who to vote for it’s because your rebbe didn’t tell you who to vote for because you don’t have one and therefore shouldn’t be voting for any of these parties.

The “Death to Israel” parties: لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله

Once again I’m not going to go into too much detail as to the political stances of these parties because Ironically, just like the Ultra-Orthodox parties, if you don’t know what they stand for then you shouldn’t be voting for them. This time around there is only one. There used to be several Arab parties each maintaining three or four seats in Knesset.  Since the raising of the electoral threshold however they realized that they need to combine strength or not be present in the next parliament.  In an inadvertent “fuck you” to people who would try and convince you that Israel is an apartheid state, the United Arab list is projected to gain around 12 or 13 seats and make them the third or fourth largest party in Knesset. There is even a slight chance that the they could head the opposition. Politics right?

I hoped this helped you make a better and informed decision as to who to vote for (or who not to vote for).


Nancy Pelosi’s Crocodile Tears.

Nancy Pelosi needs to fire the person who does her facial expressions. That’s the only excuse for her having cried when an ally came to inform her that a nuclear threat is looming imminent and it’s your own party leader’s fault.

The only way that Netanyahu could have surprised anyone with his speech last week was if he had announced that Israeli warplanes were on the way to Teheran at the end. If you had been paying attention to the media frenzy surrounding the speech than you would have noticed that Netanyahu didn’t articulate anything new about Israeli policy in regards to Iran. The aftermath was similarly predictable. Those who were for his speech and support Netanyuahu, or at least support Israel in general terms, thought it was a good speech and those who didn’t thought it wasn’t. I for one was hoping we could all go back to our regularly scheduled lives… And then Nancy Pelosi opened her dumb mouth.

….And then Lindsey Graham opened his dumb mouth. Lindsey Graham made a joke about Pelosi’s tears and plastic surgery and he was jumped on for it and subsequently retracted the joke. You know what? Lighten the hell up; First of all anything that Lindsey Graham says is funny because of his ridiculous “gone with the wind” accent. Second for all the democrats jokes about John Boehner you should know how to take a joke rather than acting like they are in kindergarten.

But back on topic: following the speech Nancy Pelosi released a public statement in which she said: “I was near tears throughout the Prime Minister’s speech – saddened by the insult to the intelligence of the United States”. Insult the Intelligence of the United States? Please, this from the a  women representing a state that doesn’t vaccinate their kids because a playboy playmate said the internet told her it was bad. California is already a cesspool of distorted values; look no farther than California Public Universities, UC Irvine just banned the display of the American Flag in public spaces. Netanyahu’s speech was nothing if not informative (which is already insulting American intelligence) on, not only on Israel’s picture of the Middle East, but also on the politics and forces that are shaping it; his Game of Thrones reference was spot on. Normally Pelosi’s tears would be newsworthy in and of themselves if for no other reason than because she’s had so much botox and plastic surgery that she usually can’t any facial expressions beyond “Dead on the inside”. But I find her selective water works very disturbing. 

Syrian President Bashar al-Assad shakes hands with U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi in Damascus Here she is all smiles with Bashar Al Assad in 2007 on a visit to Damascus; and lets not pretend that because he only started killing his own people en mass in 2011 this is somehow OK. This isn’t Kobe Bryant before the sexual assault allegations this is a bad guy all around. Since he came to power Assad has been a brutal and un-elected dictator that Pelosi ,as a representative of the most Liberal state in the Union had no business shaking hands or smiling with. This was all on a visit that was intended to stick a thumb in the eye of the President who, at the time, was trying to isolate Assad’s Syria for silly things like harboring terrorists, funneling Jihadis into Iraq and building a Nuclear reactor with North Korean technology (that was dealt with only by Israeli Airstrike).

Not a tear has been shed (or squeezed out of her paralyzed overstretched tear ducts) over the deaths of over 200,000 Syrians at the hands of Assad or the displacement of over a third of the Syrian population; This is the Assad that used chemical weapons in 2011; It was apparently not an insult to the American people  when the president shamelessly backed down on red lines that he had set and then allowed himself to be outmaneuvered by the Russians into a deal that destroyed Assad’s chemical weapons but left him to continue to drop barrel bombs on his own civilians (which is claimed as a foreign policy victory by the way).

The dire situation for minorities in Iraq and Syria hasn’t brought her to tears, nor the countless other atrocities going on in the world and now the news is reporting that the Supreme Leader of Iran, Ayatollah Khomeini was hospitalized in critical condition; I can only hope that Pelosi saves her tears for someone other than one who regularly calls for the destruction of the state of Israel and the death of the Jews.

Why are the Oscars still a thing?

UBL Oscar

I hate the Oscars. The Academy Awards is everything that is wrong with american culture summed up in one evening. It’s a night where  celebrities feel the need to pat themselves on the back for the outstanding job that they’ve been doing being famous and giving each other lots of money to play a role in a film and not be high or drunk on set all the time; or at least not to seem like it in the final cut. It’s a bunch of people wearing clothing that costs more than the average Americans home (or all the homes in Detroit). Basically a black tie members only circle jerk and Americans love to watch.

It starts at the Red Carpet; the media fawns over the actresses and their dresses like they’ve never seen a grown women before. All year long the media acts all surprised and confused that such a high percentage of women have so many issues with their own bodies yet they don’t see the irony on Oscar night.  Is it any surprise given that we spend the entire week after the academy awards being forced to focus on how women looks after she’s spent 24 hours and a few thousand dollars in makeup and hair and then slips into a dress that normal people can’t afford but these millionaires are given for free because, why the fuck not? And I do mean forced because the whole thing only ended a few hours ago and already the major news outlets, my social media feeds and everything else is flooded with the typical “who wore it best” and all the other Oscar fashion clichés. Men aren’t subject to this stupidity as much because A) A tuxedo is a Tuxedo no matter how you spin it and B) For some reason we are all delusional enough that whether we are ripped with single digit Body fat percentage or fifty pounds overweight we will all look at ourselves in the mirror when getting dressed in the morning, shrug, and say “Eh, not bad” (or at least I’m assuming that’s what everyone else does). Anyone can look like a superstar if they have dedicated hair and makeup people as well as a wardrobe where everything costs more than a used car and is tailor made. The only time it was ever that easy for me to get ready in the morning was in the military but only for lack of options. (He’s wearing this seasons Body Armor!)

Things only gets more gag worthy once you get inside the only word that comes to (my) mind the last time I watched the academy awards was Masturbatory. They are all bursting with excitement over what a wonderful job they have done; To be fair every industry has their own awards and such so you could say that this is no different but I think it is; Celebrities have become role models in our society and they certainly do beat you over the head with it. There is no shortage of celebrities doing wonderful things for the world, and, more importantly, telling you about them; anyone remember George Clooney Circa 2006? It’s a little annoying to listen to someone tell me how I should try to do more for the world standing there in a tuxedo that could feed an African village for a week in an auditorium of people who’s combined income outpaces most 3rd world countries.

Movies these days require less acting skills and more the ability to not get bored spitting lines at a green screen at imaginary characters. The people who deserve the awards are the techies who can make some movie palatable with decent effects and CGI. Do those people get awards? Of course! But not at the main event, they have their own “ceremony” earlier in the week, because gd forbid the celebrities should be forced to sit in the same room as the people who make their movies watchable.

And then came best picture; or, more specifically, American Sniper’s nomination for best picture. We all knew it wasn’t going to win. I still held out hope but I knew that the academy couldn’t possibly bring themselves to recognize a movie about a decorated American soldier. It’s the typical pattern; no one cares if a soldier is heroic, only if he’s heroic on the big screen (played by a big ticket actor of course). Don’t believe me? Two words: Lone Survivor.

Liberal media and liberal personalities got all butt hurt not only that American Sniper didn’t fall in line with their views on the Iraq war (Bush lied people died), but that it did so well at the box office and was recieved so well and got nominated for their holy of holies: Best picture. The book (and I’m guessing the movie because I have yet to see it) is a reflection of the sacrafices that one man made for his country and the realities of modern warfare but all they could see was that he didn’t shed a tear for every man that he had to kill. In their perfect world Selma would have been the headline grabber that made millions and affirmed that Americans the type of ‘enlightened’ that they should be but it wasn’t even nominated.

Chris Kyle has been a hero of mine ever since I first read his book and American Sniper may not have won, but anyone who knows the Oscar’s at all knows  it’s political bullshit anyway. The people responsible for the movie will somehow have to handle only making boatloads of money. Hope they can manage. I can only hope that at least one of those idiots in the auditorium is one of those anti-vaxxers and everyone will be sick soon.  All I have to say about the winner of best picture is: Where is Kanye when you need him?

Our (Non-violent) Plan for Countering Violent Extremism By John Kerry and Ari Krauss

The following was taken from an Op-Ed written by John Kerry today in the Wall Street Journal. The following is a glimpse as to the average day in my head reading the news. To clarify: anything in Parentheses  is my addition.

Our (Non-violent) Plan for Countering Violent Extremism

Show the world the power of peaceful communities, and tackle bad governance that breeds frustration (except if they have Oil).

Written by John Kerry,

Sarcastic Commentary (In Parentheses) by Ari Krauss.

Throughout our history, we have faced threats from aggression, genocide, chaos and dictatorship. Today we are asked to wage a new war against a new enemy. The battlefield is different, and so are the weapons that we need to overcome that enemy and triumph. (None of which the administration is willing to undertake so let’s try and think of something else).

The rise of violent extremism represents the pre-eminent challenge of the young 21st century. Military force is a rational and often (Not always?) necessary response to the wanton slaughters of children (even though we don’t even do anything about that in our own country), mass kidnappings of schoolgirls (#BringBackOurGirls…..ok fine don’t), and beheading of innocents (Except when the Saudis do it). But military force alone won’t achieve victory. (Especially when you half ass it) In the long term, this war will be won only by deploying a broader, far more creative (Hashtag) arsenal.

A safer and more prosperous future requires us to recognize that violent extremism can’t be justified by resorting to religion (Researching possibility of a Fatwa on this topic). No legitimate religious interpretation teaches adherents to commit unspeakable atrocities (Except the big three), such as razing villages or turning children into suicide bombers. These are the heinous acts of individuals who (Successfully) distort religion to serve their criminal and barbaric cause.

A safer and more prosperous future also requires us not to be distracted by divisions grounded in hatred or bias (Thinking about them makes us sad on the inside). There is no room in this fight for sectarian division (Apparently someone forgot to tell the Sunni and Shia). There is no room for Islamophobia (Which is a fear of being defeated in an election for saying anything bad about Islam or Muslims) or anti-Semitism (Which is hating Jews any more than is absolutely necessary). Violent extremism has claimed lives in every corner of the globe, and Muslim lives most of all (Our bad). Each of us is threatened, regardless of ethnicity, faith or homeland (Especially if you’re a Ginger on Homeland). We must demonstrate to the terrorists that rather than divide us, their tactics unite us and strengthen our resolve (To blame the whole mess on Israeli settlements).

Toward that goal of unity, and of action, President Obama has been hosting a summit in Washington this week (Because you know what they say: Words speak louder than actions) that is bringing together leading figures from local and national governments, civil society, and the private sector around the world. This summit at the White House and State Department will expand the global conversation and, more important, adopt an action agenda that identifies, shares and utilizes best practices in preventing and countering violent extremism. And when world leaders gather at the United Nations General Assembly (Generally an effective body) next fall, a key topic of discussion will be the steps we’ve all taken to fight (Israeli) extremism based on (Everything but) the agenda we outline this week.

Put simply, we are building a global partnership against violent extremism. (Sponsored by Heinz)

Success requires showing the world (And Christians in Iraq and Syria) the power of peaceful communities instead of extremist violence. Success requires offering a vision that is positive and proactive: a world with more concrete alternatives to the nihilistic worldview of violent extremists (Jihad as a new fitness craze?). Success requires empowering leaders from Los Angeles to Sana’a Lagos, Paris to Peshawar (How DO you get the Taliban on board?), and Bogotá to Baghdad to take the reins in this effort (Prefarbly with the Iraqi army leading the charge)— because terrorists don’t exist in a vacuum. They require acquiescence from the broader population, if not outright support. They recruit among the disaffected and disenfranchised, but also among those of all backgrounds on a misguided quest for meaning and empowerment. They exploit anger, ignorance and grievance (Actually…not entirely).

Eliminating the terrorists of today with force will not guarantee protection from the terrorists of tomorrow (Forget for  a second that eliminating them today will protect us today). We have to transform the environments that give birth to these movements (Global warming as a counter terrorism policy?) . We have to devote ourselves not just to combating violent extremism, but to preventing it (Only YOU can prevent Gay people from being thrown off buildings). This means building alternatives that are credible and visible to the populations where terrorists seek to thrive (also don’t require Obama to go back on campaign promises to leave Iraq)

The most basic issue is good governance (And when we figure out what the looks like we will let you know). It may not sound exciting (but then again, my voice could put a meth head to sleep), but it is vital. People who feel that their government will provide for their needs (AKA Welfare queens), not just its own (Republicans), and give them a chance at a better life are far less likely to strap on an AK-47 or a suicide vest, or to aid those who do.

We must identify the zones of greatest vulnerability (except if they are in Mosques), the places that could descend into the chaos that breeds terrorism—or that could turn the corner and be the hotbed of growth or innovation (Just look at Gaza! The Singapore of the middle east!). And then we must tailor our efforts and target our resources to meet the specific needs of those places. It may be training young people so they can get jobs and envision a future of dignity and self-reliance (Do for Jihadis what the VA has done for Vets?). It may be working to eliminate corruption and promote the rule of law (Except in Saudi Arabia), so that marginalized communities can enjoy security and justice (Damn Israelis). It’s very likely both (Or None), and of course much more.

There are precedents that can lead us (Citation needed). We’ve combated violent extremism before (Citation needed). We know there are tools that work (Citation needed). We also know the power of the international community to make positive progress when we’ve come together to combat other challenges, such as when we combined our efforts most recently to fight Ebola (No more dead white people = Success). We need to funnel more resources, creative ideas and energy into the fight against extremism and work closely with effective local organizations and governments to make sure those resources are used properly.

This week’s summit won’t solve all these problems (Probably won’t solve any), but it can catalyze a global effort. But let me be clear: We are in this for the long haul (at least until 2016). We can send a clear signal to the next generation that its future will not be defined by the agenda of the terrorists and the violent ideology that sustains them; we will not cower, and we will prevail by working together (Lol). Indeed, there are roles for everyone, from religious and government leaders to academics (Provided they can take a second away from trying to boycott Israel), NGOs (If we can get the Human Rights Council to focus on anything  other than Israel) and the private sector (The Government Contractors sending all our veterans back overseas  for 10x  the pay). Our collective security depends on our collective response (we’re screwed)

The 20th century was defined by the struggle to overcome depression, slavery, fascism and totalitarianism (Also Carbs). Now it’s our turn (To be overcome??). The rise of violent extremism challenges every one of us, our communities, our nations and the global rule of law. But the extremist forces arrayed against us require that we charge forward in the name of decency, civility and reason (and my Nobel Peace Prize).

My Zen Guide to Flying (No Really)

People think that I don’t have patience; that’s not true, this is because I never get credit for all the times I want to punch someone in the face… but don’t; or all the times I want to say something mean (but true) or inappropriate (but true)…but don’t.

I do have Patience and I save almost all of it for when I fly. Flying can be a traumatic experience for a lot of people for a number of reasons: babies, bad neighbors, bad foods, small seats, nasty flight attendants, the list goes on and on. You’re in cramped conditions with mediocre food sitting next to complete strangers just praying to gd that they had the decency to shower and not bring an egg salad sandwich with them. People who know me would barely recognize me for the Zen state that I try to take on when I am on a plane. I can basically shrug off anything short of someone banging on the cockpit door yelling allahuh akbar. This is diametrically opposed to my usual state in which I am running on a fuel mix of sarcasm, disdain for like 80% of people, and coffee. Why? Maybe because I fly infrequently and therefore still have a different attitude for it or maybe it’s just because getting rowdy on a plane carries federal charges but probably because flying is a communal experience…in the same way that prison is a communal experience, cramped conditions, bad food, and a poor movie selection makes everyone a little restless.

My only real request from the universe when I fly is that I not sit next to someone who is fatter than they are tall and that we not plunge into the ocean. I’ve come to the sad realization that it as altogether too much to ask that a fluke booking mix has Bar Rafaeli bumped from First Class to the seat next to me. Beyond that I try to take deep cleansing breaths and let everything else slide off. Crying infants, someone knocking my seat, the guy by the window having to get out a million times. I try not to let that drive me crazy because, like I said, Federal charges and all.

Remember that photo that was going around about the parents who handed out ear plugs and candy in little bags to everyone on their flight to apologize in advance for their kids crying? What a bunch of losers; they should only have considered doing that had the kid been a teenager and the note should read “sorry we are terrible parents and now you have to pay the price”. But then if they did that they’d have to be giving out gift bags every single time the kid was a total waste of life and made the world worse for everyone around him.

One time flying from New York to Israel a women had an infant and to say that the kid was clearly not enjoying the flight would be an understatement. Aside from the infant she had another young child with her and seemed clearly overwhelmed; she apologized profusely every single time the kid cried but I told her it was fine, what do you expect from an infant? She seemed to appreciate that she wasn’t sitting next to a complete asshole (or at least she didn’t realize that she was sitting next to one).

As I write this I am on a flight to New York my neighbor is nice enough and the stewardesses having been feeding me wine the whole time in paper hot cups like a drunk at a PTA conference. If you’re reading this than I made it safely to my destination and so, short of Esti Ginzburg coming back here to ask if I wanted to keep her company because it’s lonely in first class, it’s the best flight I could possibly hope for.

Side Note: The moment the plane doors open I am back to my old self; the girl in front of me was reading a prayer book while pushing her bag which kept on getting stuck I cut in front of her; I don’t feel that I should be in the back of the line at customs just because she’s not smart enough to pull the bag and not read a book.

People And Things I (and America) Hate: Michael Moore and Seth Rogen

Cowards often confuse bravery with stupidity

There is a psychological phenomenon known as the Dunning-Kruger effect; Its defined as “a cognitive bias wherein unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly rating their ability much higher than is accurate. This bias is attributed to a metacognitive inability of the unskilled to recognize their ineptitude.” (Wikipedia Definition). Alternativly it also points out that people who suck at something lack the skills to properly understand what it means to suck at something and subsequently rate themselves as better than they are. Don’t believe me? Ask John Cleese:

This was on full display this week by Michael Moore, Seth Rogen, and other stupid members of Hollywood who have made a career of taking shots from the cheap seats. In response to movie ‘American Sniper’ based on the book of the same title by Navy SEAL Chris Kyle. Michael Moore had this to say on twitter:

“My uncle killed by sniper in WW2. We were taught snipers were cowards. Will shoot u in the back. Snipers aren’t heroes. And invaders r worse”

This is big talk from a man who seems to be afraid of diet, exercise, and good health and who has made a career out of taking shots from the cheap seats.Who taught you this? Who taught you that ALL snipers are bad and that  Invaders are worse? It’s the kind of statement that could only come out of the mouth of someone who has absolutely no idea what the they are talking about. I would be willing to bet that if his uncle had heard this he would turn over in his grave to listen to you speak about American Servicemen like that. This is all putting aside the discordant logic of the statement itself: So your uncle, the American “invader” (using the definition of the term as loosely as he is) deserved the bullet because, as you said yourself,  “Invaders r worse”.

and if that wasn’t bad enough Seth Rogen had this to say on twitter:

“American Sniper kind of reminds me of the movie that’s showing in the third act of Inglourious Basterds.” IE comparing it to a fictional Nazi propaganda film. I’m assuming this is because both American Sniper and the fictional movie from Inglorious Bastards were about snipers…that’s where the similarities end. But obviously Seth Rogen gave this comment a lot of thought; We finally found evidence that Pot can be bad for your: You say stupid things that offend the entire armed forces of the US; the side effects can be deadly.

I’m not even going to get into the military justification for why snipers are not only important but extremely necessary for minimizing casualties on both sides since there are people much better qualified than me to make that argument; To make such a blanket statement about anything without even the most basic understanding of the topic with such confidence is the kind of thing that only the echo chamber that is Hollywood can produce. This is all never mind that Michael Moore hasn’t done anything important in the last decade (unless you count single handedly supporting a Krispy Kreme Franchise) and Seth Rogen’s major accomplishment is wringing money out of the same Pot jokes over and over and not getting murdered by North Korea which up until this week I was against.

I’ve had a theory for a while that the Liberal Elites from places that produce people like Michael Moore and the like, these self assured idiots; the people who try and use their status to lord their moral superiority over us less perfect than them have no ability to conceptualize what a soldier is or what makes a person do what soldiers do. Since the end of the draft in the US the decreasing participation of the American population in the armed forces has lead us to the point where the average person can no longer relate to soldiers in any meaningful way. It’s  gotten to a point where the average American liberal, the ones whose starbucks order takes more than 15 seconds and when the barista get’s it wrong they make a face that only someone who thinks they are the most important person in the world can make when an over worked and underpaid barista adds a “dash” of cinnamon instead of a “pinch”. It’s the type of people whose instagram account is an offensive collage of yuppie bullshit like a picture of a salad or their tiny little dog.

The part that is so infuriating about this is that these people have not let their lack of education get in the way of making stupid comments. (Dunning and Kruger would be proud) One member of the academy said “He seems like he may be a sociopath,” “he had not yet seen the film but had read the article, which is being passed around”;  a critic for the new republic wrote: “I have not seen ‘American Sniper, But if the trailer is any indication, Eastwood’s film, like ‘Zero Dark Thirty,’ tries to make a straightforward situation more complex than it is.” These people are so open minded that their brains have fallen out; you can’t judge a book by it’s cover (or it’s content when it comes to the Koran) but you can judge a movie by what you’ve heard. Like I said too stupid to know how stupid they are.

It’s the “I am the most important person and everything must be perfect for me” group of people who have no conception of  what would make someone  wake up one day and do anything other than be a self serving piece of’s barely within their mental grasp of being more than an Uber ride away from a wholefoods. The notion of sacrificing your freedom, comfort  and perhaps your life, for a greater cause like their country is beyond them. They can no more understand someone who would put themselves through something like basic training, or BUD/s (SEAL training) than humans can understand why dogs eat their own shit (well most Humans anyway).

Don’t believe me? Just as Medal of Honor recipient Dakota Meyer: “No, cowards are people who didn’t have the guts to serve, and are happy to sit back in a free and protected country and call our service members cowards. I find it funny that this Moore guy would only say this after Chris Kyle was killed. I’d have loved to see him say that to Chris’s face.”.

Here are some friends of Chris Kyle talking to Sean Hannity and gd bless them for they’re response, they are better men than me for having this to say to them: (if you don’t want to watch the whole segment skip to the last minute)

Tom Friedman Is a Moron Part I: The French Connection

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Tom Friedman is a Moron; plain and simple. If you’ve ever read anything he has written and you have a 5th grade education and/or a basic grasp of how the world actually works can see that he lives in a fantasy world one vampire short of copyright infringement; take the his most recent “article” for example titled “We Need Another Giant Protest”.

In commenting on the march this week in France he bypasses the fact that Obama couldn’t be bothered to attend or at least send a representative saying that this would not be the end of Islamic violence and extremism anyway; his prescription instead was:“a million-person march against the jihadists across the Arab-Muslim world, organized by Arabs and Muslims for Arabs and Muslims, without anyone in the West asking for it — not just because of what happened in Paris but because of the scores of Muslims recently murdered by jihadists in Pakistan, Yemen, Iraq, Libya, Nigeria and Syria”

Good thing you were here Tom; he might as well have prescribed “more cowbell” for all the good that it would do. In what universe is he living in that he thinks this is even a remote possibility (forget helpful)? Look at the countries he listed: Pakistan? really? Islamists are deeply embedded at every level of government and the military as well as the use of radical groups by Pakistan in the tribal regions as a sort of proxy against Afghanistan and India; Pakistan was given a choice in 2001 by the US: With us or against us and the best they could come up with was with you…sort of…when it suits us Of course the US accepted that as enough because of their strategic interests in neighboring Afghanistan. and Nigeria? They just had their bloodiest week yet with 2000 dead at the hands of Boko Haram; i’m sure there are those there that hate Boko if only there was something that they could do about it. The fact that Syria made this list made my head hurt; Even at the depths of my loathing for Friedman I can’t imagine that he is seriously counting Asssad’s vigorous “protest” against radical groups in his category of eligible states; Syria is just one of many countries that are so far away from anything resembling spontaneous anti-radical Islamic protests.

He continues on by quoting Abdul Rahman al-Rashed, a respected Arab journalist, who wrote Monday in his column in Al-Sharq Al-Awsat:

 “The story of extremism begins in Muslim societies, and it is with their support and silence that extremism has grown into terrorism that is harming people. It is of no value that the French people, who are the victims here, take to the streets. … What is required here is for Muslim communities to disown the Paris crime and Islamic extremism in general.”

How does he expect the Arab/Muslim community to disown these terrorists when the Western World won’t even admit that Islam is the problem? The amount of people trying to foist this problem onto anyone else other than radical extremists. Future dead president Jimmy Carter said on the daily show: “One of the origins for it is the Palestinian problem, and this affects people who are affiliated in any way with the Arab people who live in the West Bank and Gaza – what they’re doing now, what’s being done to them”. How in the hell does anyone expect the global Muslim population to stand up to this issue when we won’t even acknowledge that it’s the source of the problem!

And then he continues pointing out something that everyone has known from the start: That the US doesn’t confront the radical tendencies of allies like Saudi Arabia because of our oil addiction.

 Ambivalence runs through Washington’s ties with Saudi Arabia. (Wait, didn’t we say that it didn’t matter that Obama was ambivalent about attending the rally this week?) This Saudi right turn — combined with oil revenues used to build Wahhabi-inspired mosues, websites and madrassas across the Muslim world — has tilted the entire Sunni community to the right. Look at a picture of female graduates of Cairo University in 1950. Few are wearing veils. Look at them today. Many are wearing veils.” …But U.S. presidents never confront Saudi Arabia about this because of our oil addiction. As I’ve said, addicts never tell the truth to their pushers. The Saudi government opposes the jihadists.”

He has either the balls or the crushing stupidity to contradict himself in his own damn article! It’s not ambivalence that has the US not pushing the Saudis harder on radical Islamic groups, it’s the oil (ok he mentioned that) but also the strategic interests.

“In short, jihadist zeal is easy to condemn, (you mean like you do regularly?)  but will require multiple revolutions to stem — revolutions that will require a lot of people in the Arab-Muslim world and West to shed their ambivalence and stop playing double games.” It’s almost as if a sort of Spring for the Arab world is needed. If only that hadn’t already happened in 2011 and failed to liberalize the Arab world in any meaningful way. Double games are how the Middle East has run since the end of the Cold War, Why? Because of individual strategic interests.

It’s a typical Tom Friedman solution: Everyone will just kind of spontaneosuly wake up and realize what is best for the world…and then do it. It’s something that would get a student kicked out of International relations 101 course…or, apparently,  published in the NY Times Op-Ed Section.